Where Do I Start?

My driver's license expired on my birthday this year. As some of you know, that was almost 2 months ago. I went two days after my birthday, to the mini-DMV office, to renew my license, and was told there that I would have to go all the way out to West Valley to take the written exam. Why? They like to screw with people I assume... So, in an immature act of rebellion, I said, yah, I'll get around to it when I get around to it... Fast forward to now. Since we are going to Phoenix this weekend, I thought that it would be good for traveling purposes to have a valid driver's license.

So this morning, after my 7:30 am nail appointment, I went straight to the DMV, thinking, hey, it's early, it shouldn't be toooo packed. It will be well before lunch. I should breeze right through. Have I ever mentioned that I like my martinis? Apparently the research on killing off brain cells is spot on, because apparently I have developed some sort of dementia that led me to think this way.

I spent about 2.5 hours sitting at the DMV, waiting for my number to come up - B170. I sat through the A6, A7, C234, C245, D354, D356, etc, etc..... B150, 151, 152...... Come on 170!!!!

Finally get up to the counter, and a very nice woman let my eyes rest before the eye exam after I explained to her that everything was fuzzy from staring at my phone and playing solitaire for the last 2+ hours. Then she gave me my Utah Driver's Manual and sent me to a computer to take my open book test. Passed with a 92%!!!! I knew nothing about HOV's and on the second one that I missed, I still think I could have argued, but since I heard 3 different people go up to the counter and be told that they had failed as I sat there, I figured I'd just let it go and live with my low score. So I take my 92% self up to the counter and ran into the one and only obstacle of the day that brought me within inches of losing it. A young man at the counter was being told that they could not count his test because he was not supposed to be using the book.... "Well my dad says he always does and he's older and he knows all about it.." Cue the dad. Leather coat wearing, square jawed, feather haired dad. Here he comes to point blame on the woman who had been at the counter, the other test takers, and to top it all off, call the poor testing goon a not very nice and completely unnecessary name. All the while, his 15 year old child, yes the kid was there for a permit, with his bangs hanging down in his eyes, is banging his hands and fingers on the counter like its a drum. Knock it off you Spicoli wanna-be. Seriously, that man is so lucky he didn't look in my direction for support on how horrible it is to spend hours at the DMV. Because seriously buddy, I had to wait just as long as you and the only reason that I am here for an additional 20 minutes is because of YOU, and your INCREDIBLE STUPIDITY!!! Seriously, who on earth would think that a teenager could take their driving test open book!!!??? Then hold all of us up while you argue the point??!!! I could feel myself getting hotter and hotter, my face getting redder and redder. Finally in an attempt to move things along the supervisor comes out and says, just let the kid take it again, no book.

Needless to say my new license picture is no glamour shot. My face is glossy from the sweat beads starting and my skin is blotchy because the color was starting to drain out. Fine, whatever, I start laughing hysterically, just give it to me and let me get away from this place that smells like poo!!!!

And let's add my other government bureaucracy story at this point. We decided to change the age that we requested for referral shortly after we were put on the list. Easy enough. Email lovely homestudy case worker. Tell her what we would like to do. 3 days later, addendums, signed and notarized arrive in mailbox. No charge. Send addendum to WHFC. No problem. Hey we're all happy to help. Happy happy times.

Email immigration office - Hey, I just need you to change two numbers on the form that you sent. On the I171H form that is the stock template you send to everywhere, just filling in the country, age range and their personal names. I would assume you save the file. Just go in there and change a 12 to a 24. Sure, no problem unnamed computer personality replies. Just fill out the I290B and return this with a money order for $585. And we even promise a 48 hour turn around. This made me want to reply with something along the lines of - I don't need it in 48 hours, so if I can wait 6 weeks, can I get a discount? I of course thought better of this as I would not want to tick off Stanley Kubrick's nameless computer personality. I mean seriously, who sends emails with no signature. It just comes from SL Adoptions like its its own entity. Seriously, what kind of ink are they using to print this paperwork??? Is made from crude oil or something?

Okay, I think that I'm done ranting now. Soooo looking forward to weekend laying out by the pool, lovely pool boy, or girl, doesn't matter, bringing me drinks of the moment, happy hour at the Pink Taco.... ahhhh....